From One Kind of Helpless to Another

Ok.... so I've spent the last two days absolutely sick about what has happened to my Son. The pictures of his head from the day it happened are horrifying and it's still not pretty today. This afternoon the investigator for the state came to talk with the kids about what happened. You want to know what happened?.......... My daughter is a big fat liar and took her brother down with her! AGHHHHH!!!!!!! Really does parenting suck sometimes or what. So tonight has been all about talking, making I'm sorry cards, and more talking. With Ruby it included a nice roll play where we accused her of kicking the dog and we played on it for awhile till she was good and bothered by it and hoped it would sink in. The question is... has it? If you use bedtime as a measure.... NOT ONE BIT!!!! I asked her if she'd gone to the bathroom, she said yes. I asked her again knowing full well she hadn't and she said yes again. I asked her if she was lying and she said YES!!!! I took away her story time and put her to bed. I hope it takes both of them a really long time to fall asleep tonight so they have lots of time to think. I know I'm horrible for saying that but I'm not sure there is much else I can do at the moment. Tomorrow we're hoping to have a meeting with the daycare people so they can make their apologies in person and so we can all talk about what happened and what is going to happen going forward. There is such a weird line between wanting to punish them till the cows come home and needing them to understand that when they make a mistake (or LIE) that they need to tell us what happened and that we may not like it but it will be ok. I just wish all parenting could be as easy as 1-2-3 Magic. Somehow though I just don't think that would help right now.


*1-2-3 Magic is the idea that when your child doesn't want to do what they are asked you say...."Ok, I'm going to count to three and if you don't take your art stuff up to your room by three then I'm taking your Bakugan's away. That's one......"

Helpless

I have such a feeling of anguish and helplessness at the moment. Two children were out on the playground and one child got really hurt. The account from the child who was hurt is that the boy who was picking on him shoved his face into the fence. The adults missed the whole thing and thought he had an accident. I am so angry that my child has been hurt at the hands of another. Even though I know he's been the one who has hurt others in the past. He at least has a reason for his behavior and nothing was this severe. What was this child's motivation to hurt him. Was he frustrated with him, was he just being a bully, were they playing some stupid kid game and played too rough? I want to know what exactly happened. All I really know is that my child is hurt both physically and emotionally. He is afraid to go back to a place that has always taken good care of him where he has good friends. He doesn't understand why someone did this and it's so hard to help him when neither do I.

Dear Son,

Mama is so sorry this has happened to you. I know that there are going to be times in your life when I can't protect you from the world. I wish with all my heart that I could. I know that if I did it would only interfere in your growth into the competent adult you will be someday. It hurts my heart so much to know you are hurting and I wish I could fix it. Just know that you are loved and that your Mama will do anything to teach you that this is not how the world should be. That there are far more people out there who will treat you well and love and care for you than these terrible few who will cause you harm. Please don't lose your trust in the good. Please give us a chance to prove it to you.

With more love today than yesterday and less than tomorrow,

Your Mama

We'll Miss You Bill!!!

PORTLAND - William "Bill" Ardeel, 73, Portland, died Dec. 26, 2008, at his home.

Private interment rites will be at Willamette National Cemetery, 11800 SE Mt. Scott Blvd., in Portland.

Mr. Ardeel was born Nov. 26, 1935, in Hillsboro, a son of Art and Erma Meltabeke McGahey. He was raised and received his education in the North Plains community.

A veteran of the Korean conflict, he joined the United States Marines Dec. 3, 1953, in Portland. He served three years and received his discharge Dec. 2, 1956, at Camp Pendleton, Calif., at the rank of private first class.

He was a sheet metal worker for Gunderson Brothers in Portland for many years, until he retired.

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Bill was our next door neighbor, our watchdog, our friend. He was always in his dark denim overalls. He was not a man to flash you a gratuitous smile but when you got one they left you no choice but to smile back. He was grumpy and somber and so looked forward to his death as he wanted to join those who had gone before him. Under that though he had a sweet caring side that was really enjoyable in the times it showed itself. Things don't seem right in our little complex without him. I expect to go out to the car in the morning and see him standing getting his little walks in, or doing his laundry, or impatiently waiting on the mailman. Some would consider him the nosey neighbor. He just always made me feel safe. I knew when I wasn't home that any funny business would be known. I used to tease him that if he saw anyone stealing my stuff to let them have it and if he had anything he wanted new to give his old stuff to them as well! I remember the time he gave Ephraim two red cars that I think came in his cereal boxes. Ephraim loved those cars. Anytime the kids would lose something on the walkway or by the cars they would be waiting on his chair outside his apartment for the next time we walked by. We will miss our friend Bill though we will keep his memory alive each time we trek down to "Bill's Restaurant" for a neighborhood breakfast, just like he used to do.

We're happy that you finally got what you wanted Bill. Though we do miss you!

A Really Great Weekend

A Three Hour Circle

We did not get lost, we did not plan, we just had to!



So this evening it started snowing. We checked the weather last night and knew we needed to get out by 3pm to beat the wind and rain (nothing said SNOW!!!!). We tried to leave at 2pm but as all good plans with good intentions are thwarted it seems, we left at 3:15pm. As we were driving out Hwy. 53 it started snowing and sticking to the road. Judy was driving great and then the car slipped a little and we traded drivers. It was snowing and slow going but it was going along fine. We got about 35 miles toward home when all traffic came to a stop. We sat and waited guessing it was an accident before we say the State Trooper pulling up to each car and talking to them. So when it was our turn we rolled down the window only to find out that without chains you were to turn around. With studs or 4 wheel drive you could continue with the knowledge that "when" not "if" you got stuck it was a $145 ticket. Needless to say with the kids in the car there wasn't much of a choice as to what we were doing. (well that and we just have front wheel drive) So as we started back we made the necessary calls to advise Granny we'd be back, Jen & Courtney that we weren't coming back, and Bo that Tonks (the worlds best dog) wouldn't be coming home either. The drive was slow and SNOWY and we had a little trouble getting over the pass after Camp 18. We couldn't take 53 as it's too unpredictable (and curvy) in the snow. So.... we drove out to the ocean and around. Though the snow stopped the rain and wind kicked up! Egad...... what a day for driving. A little over 3 hours later we pulled into Granny and Grandpa Noisey's driveway parking exactly where we had been earlier. DOH!!!!

Having A Fun Weekend

This weekend is really good! We're having a fun time. I'll post the weekend hopefully soon but here's a couple pictures.